4 reasons why you shouldn’t get the flu jab this winter

Mexico: A leading impartial health adviser has issued an alert to highlight the propaganda surrounding flu jabs – from a 5-star resort in Cancun.

Dr Raymond Silva, not authorised to speak on behalf of his covert funder Reckitt Benckiser (who make cold and flu medication), said: “Science can’t yet tell us who has used these needles before. But what we know for sure is that products to treat flu come in a range of flavours and price points.”

Dr Silva has kindly let us use four of his top 17 reasons not to get jabbed this winter:  

- We don’t know where needles have been. So particles from addicts could pass on avian flu, or even worse, the new, improved version of Mpox – Time magazine’s ‘Disease of the Year’.

- It hurts. Don’t let anybody kid you. REM’s song Everybody Hurts was famously written during winter flu season – and suggests Michael Stipe’s empathy is way above nurses and better trained practitioners.

- Reduces resistance to avian flu. Avian flu is worse than normal flu, and as the name suggests, it’s also airborne. So while you may be able to outrun it for a while you can’t hide – even if you live in a tower block (because it’s airborne).

- Somebody else benefits – and it’s not you. Getting any vaccine is a sign of weakness and women (and some men) want to be protected. Is it suspicious that the same firms – Sanofi, Astra Zeneca, GSK – make the flu jabs every year? And that they also rub both hands with glee when a ‘flu-nami’ or ‘Superflu’ is all over the media? Ka-ching!