This ancient primal art (anyone can try) instantly lowers blood pressure

India: At first an ancient art perfected by shaman priests and appropriated by the homeless may not seem to have health benefits – but doctors now find that shouting lowers blood pressure, and makes males more attractive to potential mates. Which can be female or male.

Dr Derek Khan, an audiologist with Ahuja Radios in New Delhi said society may be doing irreparable damage to its blood pressure by encouraging us to keep the volume down. “We conducted a meta study featuring thousands of contestants,” he said. “Those who kept quiet when they were bumped in a line were much more likely to suffer high blood pressure. But those who shouted, ‘Hey man, watch it’ needed far less blood transfusions and were 3x more likely to attract a mate from the same queue.”

The study also put statistical facts on suspicions many of us suspect. “Shouting is not seen as being politically correct, but we have scientific proof, finally, that when drivers roared ‘dumb mot***fucker’ at fellow motorists or at street cleaners, this lowered blood pressure by 15-20%, at least until they got home.” The study also revealed that those who mumbled under their breath were six times more likely to die in a car accident, or alone, whichever came first.

“High blood pressure is a silent killer – what better way to combat that than by shouting it down, or ‘shouting a person down’. Shout them down across the world, why don’t you?”