AI pee pants ‘leak like crazy’ if toxic masculinity persists

Spain: A new wave of AI pee pants by Tena aims to nudge males to cut down on toxic masculinity, or else it will leak fluids at a highly inopportune moment – or even during an opportune one.

“As well as protecting the body from piss one of our key roles is to protect humanity,” said Tena spokesperson Ben Iberico, citing the scientific name for the slang ‘urine’ – while also recounting two key pillars from their value proposition. “How do we better shield women and the LGBTQAI community from abuse? You’ll find out soon enough.” 

Yet early trials have proved challenging. The AI powered pee pants  – nicknamed Javier – has difficulty in distinguishing satire, sarcasm and other lowest forms of humour from ‘intentional’ chat. For example, in a recent real-life home trial a man said to his fine-looking wife, “You look so good I could eat you”. Javier sensed a threat to the lady and unleashed a torrent of collected piss all over the guy and a rug, while also summoning kindly neighbours.

A similar experience occurred with an amorous couple from Alicante. The deep-voiced lady said (playfully) to her partner, “Come here you bastard!” and the bot thought it was the man being abusive and again the accumulated discharge flowed as if there was no tomorrow – or next week. 

Mr Iberico appeared distracted when these episodes were put to him. “Madrid wasn’t built in a day. And even if it was I doubt if their sewers could have contained piss as well as our premium pee pants range.”